Jon picked up a copy of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, and I felt like watching it tonight. I’ve been jotting down my thoughts as we go. We started late, so I only got partway through before zoning out. The rest I’ll do tomorrow.
You are warned, here be spoilers.
* I’ve gotta say, I do love Marvel’s studio logo these days.
* The opening scene looks like A Series of Unfortunate Events, yet has music that sounds ripped from “Battlestar Galactica”.
* Oooh, Wolvie’s claws are naturally-occurring in this. I could’ve sworn they were, in other continuities, a byproduct of the Weapon-X project.
* “He wasn’t your father. … Son.” I’m astonished by how much schlock they’ve managed to cram into the first… 4 minutes?
* I do like the opening credits – fading in and out as Ickle Wolverine and Ickle Sabretooth run through history. Though… I do hope they’ll give us an explanation as to why the boys both fought in the Civil War, given that Wolverine’s traditionally Canadian. Still, gorgeous credits. Very Watchmen-ish.
* Hugh Jackman is always awesome to watch. Liev Schreiber isn’t quite so invincible, but is damned cool. I’m still watching the opening credits and he’s already chewing the scenery.
* I’m enjoying the cinematography so far.
* Col. Stryker: “I’m putting together a special team. With special privileges. Now, how would you like to really serve your country?” Which country? The Weapon X project is a project of the Canadian government, and the previous X-Men movies (with which this movie theoretically shares a continuity) have confirmed this detail.
* DEADPOOL! Okay, so he’s already very clearly a watered-down Deadpool, and they so far haven’t identified him as Deadpool (just “Wade”), but he’s still Deadpool. Ryan Reynolds is perfect for this role, and I hope the actual, true-to-the-comic Deadpool movie gets made.
* This movie may have the most ridiculously awesome pistol-reload shot ever.
* With each passing movie, Wolverine’s sideburns seem to be creeping up on his mouth. There will come a day where only a thin bald strip separates his face from a full beard.
* I have to admit, for all the movie’s bad press, I’m entertained so far. Sure, I’m watching my roommate’s copy for free at home, rather than shelling out $15 to see it in a theater. Bolt’s domestic psionics are really cool, and really well depicted.
* “Y’know, I always though it would be Wade come knocking at my door.” “Well, Wade’s gone.” Khaaaaaaaaan!
* So, wait. Wolverine (1) has a habit of waking up from nightmares thrashing with his claws, and (2) doesn’t sleep alone, and the pair of them haven’t worked out a system for this? Y’know, having him sleep in boxing gloves, or in bondage or something?
* “Zero! Back to the car.” Heheheheheheh.
* “This isn’t about you, Logan! Your country needs you!” “I’m Canadian.” … So…. what? Stryker’s American? Is the whole Weapon X project American then, even though previous movies have situated it in Canada? Is Wolverine American, and just adoptively Canadian since walking away from the government strike team? This matters to me, movie!
* Oooh. They used the “I’m the best there is at what I do, but what I do best isn’t very nice” line. It even fits naturally.
* “You’re not from around here, are you?” Yes, because people who can carve faces in a wooden table with their fingernails are common, just not around here.
* There’s a touch of prequel-itis here. Wolverine’s out for Sabretooth’s blood, but we know he doesn’t get it. Sabretooth shows up in the regular X-Men movies.
* Around the time we actually get in to him actually undergoing the Weapon X process, to bind his skeleton with adamantium, I grow profoundly bored. Well, okay, Wolverine’s naked chase across the countryside is amusing, as are his mishaps as he figures out how to use his claws.
* Seriously, guys. Next time, wipe the guy’s memory before you make his skeleton indestructible.
* I will admit this movie’s action sequences are delightfully ingenious and incredibly cool. They mostly consist of Wolverine slicing stuff, but he slices stuff real good.
* “The only thing that will take him down is an adamantium bullet.” Um? Conventional bullets pierce through him just fine. He just heals afterwards. What, do adamantium bullets do agg damage? Is this World of Darkness?
* Ooh, Scott Summers. … Pssst. Kid? If you’re going to need to wear red shades to class every day, and this is going to be a problem, perhaps you need to ge a doctor’s note or something.
* The first shot of Scott Summers’ eye-beams in use is, in fact, incredibly awesome.