This being the conclusion of my impressions of X-Men Origins: Wolverine, recorded as I see it for the first time.
You are warned, here be spoilers.
* Ah, the first appearance of the much-lamented Gambit! … Seriously, guys, if you see a gambler making the cards fly through the air with what can only be telekinesis, perhaps you should pick a different table.
* I’m not familiar with this John Wraith character, but his teleport/invisibility/whatever effect is damn cool. He appears to disappear from the outside in, leaving a glimpse of his skeleton before he vanishes completely.
* Gambit doesn’t annoy me (yet). And his little Zack Snyder-esque slow-mo display with his explosive cards is actually very cool. That said, when Wolvie cut off his dramatic speech with an elbow to the face, I cheered.
* Hugh Jackman’s got Wolverine’s patented head-low face-first claw-charge down, and Liev Schreiber can totally sell loping along on all fours, even if there is CGI backing him up.
* N-no, Gambit, you don’t get to use a bo-staff as a helicopter. Windmills do not work that way.
* Colonel Stryker’s speeches make no sense. I’m just sayin’.
* Weapon X Project Security Fail.
* They’ve taken bits of Deadpool’s origin, and turned him into Baraka. With no mouth.
* Pssst. Making your bullets adamantium does not make them capable of penetrating his skull. It just means they won’t deform when they bounce off.
I think the scriptwriter just copied and pasted “Rule of cool!” for 40 pages. This movie, while often dumb, is incredibly awesome. I don’t dare breathe a word about the climactic fight with Deadpool. The movie is more coherent, and vastly more visually impressive, than either of the X-Sequels, though the cast has a lot less charisma to share between them than in those movies.